Getting Kinky In The Garden

A number of frustrations are associated with gardening, such as seed that won’t germinate, plants that won’t flower and vegetables that won’t fruit or ripen. In many cases these frustrations are unavoidable and out of our control, but there are some kinky situations in the landscape that are avoidable if only you use some common sense and penny wisdom instead of penny foolery when buying ... hoses.It’s the foolish gardener who spots a great deal at a discount store and can’t resist a hundred-foot “reinforced” garden hose for just $9.99. Inevitably, gardener Jim or Jane gets the hose home, and undoes the twist ties that kept it coiled in a neat serpentine bundle, only to find that the coils simply won’t undo. The solution is to attach the female end to the hose bib at the house (whoops, they forgot to give you a washer) and just stretch the hose out to straighten it. A great idea in theory, but it seems that el cheapo hose that is now uncoiled has a tendency to kink about every foot or so.

A few minutes of untwisting (now do I go clockwise or counterclockwise?) and the hose is finally straight and true. The nozzle is attached to the male end, the water turned on and the hose pulled around to the far corner of the house where you just planted the new azalea. Squeeze the trigger, a burst of water, and then nothing. Some four letter words are mumbled and it’s a walk back 99 feet to again ... unkink the hose.

Finally things work out, the azalea is watered and the hose coiled back next to the driveway. That evening, though, while parking the car, you accidentally drive over the hose and sure enough, the cheap plastic coupling is smashed. Damn that hose!

To further highlight my point: A supermarket where I regularly shop had a big display of garden hose. Now I put buying hose in a supermarket up there with buying orchids at the big orange box, but people do it. They see the “bargain” and simply can’t resist.

Well, the hose that was on sale was supposed to be super-reinforced, had a three-year guarantee and was kink-proof. But here was the scene ... a woman was in the parking lot pulling mile after mile of this hose out of her van and into a shopping cart ... and she was returning it. Kinks and all.

The very simple truth is that if you just run out and buy a hose because it’s on sale and too cheap to believe then you’re asking for trouble. Choosing the right garden hose the first time will result in years of trouble-free use and, in the long run (of years, not feet), high-quality hoses are easier to handle, and less likely to “blow out” and have other problems over their life span, which can be 10 to 15 years with proper care and minor repairs.

In fact, most quality hoses now come with warranties that include free replacement for from five years to the life of the hose. The fact of the matter though is that most of us aren’t interested in getting our money back but would just like the hose to last.

The factors that affect quality in garden hoses include cover type (clear or opaque); reinforcement (knit, spiral knit or double spiral); burst-pressure rating; cold weather flexibility; foamed or non-foamed layers; wall thickness; inside diameter (ID); kink resistance; couplings and other added features.

The type of reinforcement, frequency of reinforcing loops and yarn strength are important factors in burst strength and hose quality. Some of the best hoses have two layers known as spiral knit reinforcement. A burst strength of four times the average faucet pressure allows for surge pressures, nozzle shutoffs and other unexpected events. Both reinforcement and the tube wall thickness affect burst strength. Low-quality hoses often have a burst rating of 200 pounds per square inch; medium-quality, 275 to 350 psi; and high-quality, 350 to 500 psi.

Flexibility and kink resistance are factors of the tube compound material quality, wall gauge and construction techniques. Quality, flexible hose often has foamed layers containing tiny air cells similar to a fine sponge, giving a softer feel, easier cold-weather handling, thicker walls with less weight, and more kink resistance. Hose layers of non-foamed material, clear or opaque, offer better abrasion and dirt resistance, but are less flexible.

Hose couplings are often the last consideration, but go along with all the other features as prime considerations. The couplings should be a full flow type, internally-expanded to allow the full inside diameter of the hose to be used. It’s useless to have a 3/4-inch inside diameter hose with hose couplings that are tapered down to 5/8 or 1/2 an inch, as this only causes restricted water flow ... not what you paid for. Heavy-machined brass female couplings are preferred since they are less likely to be accidentally damaged as in our earlier example. Also look for semi-rigid collars at the hose ends that prevent kinking at the faucet (female) and nozzle (male) ends.

A very important consideration that is often overlooked is how much water a hose can carry. This is affected by three factors—internal size (ID or inside diameter), length, and water pressure. As a rule most homes produce at least 40 pounds of pressure or 40 psi at the faucet. The low-priced promotional hose that we discussed earlier was probably 50 feet long, 1/2 inch in diameter and would deliver 9 gallons of water per minute (GPM) at 40 psi at the end. A higher quality hose with a 5/8 inch diameter would deliver 16 GPM, while a 3/4 inch hose would deliver 23 GPM.

Also remember that the larger the diameter (ID) of a hose, the less pressure is lost over long distances. If your pressure is low, under 40 psi, or if the hose is running uphill or is extra long, then the largest size hose available should be used to minimize pressure loss.

Hoses that resist kinking are preferable not only for ease of handling but because kinks create weak spots where the hose is more likely to blow out. Never kink or bend a hose sharply to cut off the water or when in storage. When stored, a hose should be coiled on a wide bracket, hose hanger or on a reel. Never hang hoses from nails or hooks and remember to drain you hoses before winter.

When a kink does set in NEVER pull on the hose to remove the kink, as this usually causes the kink to “set.” Kinks should always be slowly worked out and in cheap hoses the kink points are almost always where the leaks will sprout.

Next week: the various types of hoses, which is best for you, tips on hose repairs and why you should think twice before you let your kids drink from that hose.

Last summer there was a general shortage of hoses during the heat of the summer, so check your inventory and read part two next week. I’ll also tell you about a new hose on the block that could be the best one you’ll ever buy. Keep growing.