Benjamin Huntting Foster of Hampton Bays, formerly of Southampton, died at home on August 7, 2018, 53 years to the day of meeting his wife, with his family by his side. He was 82 and died of melanoma.
Mr. Foster was born in Southampton Hospital on February 14, 1936—the best valentine his family ever had—and graduated from Southampton High School in 1954. He studied education at Oswego State University earning a bachelor’s degree in 1959; he returned to Oswego to get his master’s degree, graduating in 1970.
He missed all the summer fun in the Hamptons as he would travel to work on his uncle, Walter Betts’s farm in Tuckahoe, New Jersey, where they grew lima beans, peppers, sweet peas, corn and later, sod. He could often be found riding a tractor, singing “Are Ye Able” to the amusement of those around him. He may be most remembered as the son of Mary June Foster, who taught kindergarten in Southampton Elementary School and every Halloween dressed as a witch handing out her famous cookies.
He met his future wife, Yoka, who was visiting from Utrecht, the Netherlands, at a football party held at the home of a friend’s neighbor. His love for his wife was so strong he married her twice; the first time in a civil ceremony on April 7, 1966, in Zuilen, the Netherlands, and a second time at the United Methodist Church in Southampton on May 14, 1966. They continued their love story for 52 years.
In 1960 Mr. Foster started teaching shop class at Southampton Intermediate School, retiring in 1989. For 18 of those years he taught down the hall from his brother, David Foster, who was the physical education teacher. During his time at the intermediate school, he taught thousands of students. Toward the end of his career he had taught more than one generation of some families. He was instrumental in having co-educational shop and home-economics classes, recognizing the importance for both girls and boys to have these skills. Loving sports, Mr. Foster spent many years coaching junior varsity and varsity football, golf and wrestling at Southampton High School. Later he became a baseball umpire.
Survivors said that just like the seagull, he was very light while at the same time very strong and flexible, as well as very tough. He had a light exterior making everyone comfortable but he was stronger than the nails he hammered, he went with the flow but never against his beliefs and morals.
While traveling with one of his teams in the 1970s the team was denied service because of “colored” players, and determined to prove that they were all equal, he brought his team into his home to show they were part of his family. He was a mentor for students and teachers alike.
For about 10 summers he ran the Coopers Beach concession in Southampton Village with his friend and fellow teacher, Jim Wightman. They often employed other young teachers as concession staff and lifeguards. During the 1980s he owned a business called BF Products, selling wooden toys, signs and other items at craft fairs and at home parties, that he had crafted.
Mr. Foster served on the Southampton Village Board of Historic Preservation and Architectural Review for many years. He was a founding member of the Southampton Colonial Militia, which formed during the bicentennial in 1976. He was an active member of the 3rd NY Regiment, serving as treasurer until the day he died. He marched in more than 40 Fourth of July parades, often with his daughters and grandchildren in tow.
Mr. Foster loved camping and fishing. Many summers were spent camping at the Shinnecock Inlet, fishing and watching the seagulls soar. He took overseas guests across the country or headed overseas with his family to camp their way from Belgium to Norway, on one trip, then through Germany to Italy, Switzerland and Austria on another. He was an avid train collector, spending many hours at train meets with his friend, Bill, looking and searching for just the right addition to his collection. He also enjoyed reading about history and mystery, as can be noted by the thousands of books in his home office.
Mr. Foster is survived by his wife Yoka (Arlar) and two daughters, Kristina Foster, her son, Richard Benjamin and fiancée Caitlin, and Jacqueline Robinson, her husband, Christopher, and their children, Megan and Cole. He is also survived by a brother, David Foster and wife Roseann Gentile Foster and their children; a brother-in-law, Sjon (John) Arlar and wife Oddveig from Norway, their children, Oddreider and Peter; sisters-in-law, Ursula and husband Sigmund and their sons, Kristoffer and Martin of Norway, and Felicia and husband Arvid and their daughters, Elisabeth and Isabella of Norway; as well as his “Haguers” and a slew of cousins in Tuckahoe and Woodbine, New Jersey. He was predeceased by his father, Dr. Edward H. Foster and his mother, Mary June Foster (Betts) of Southampton; and his brother-in-law, Jan Arlar of Hampton Bays and Utrecht, the Netherlands.
Services were held at R.J. O’Shea Funeral Home in Hampton Bays.
Memorial donations in his name may be made to the Peconic Land Trust, or to the Shinnecock Indian Nation Cultural Center & Museum, in the name of his friend, Alice Osceola Martinez.
on Aug 13, 2018