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Oct 20, 2015 4:13 PMPublication: The Southampton Press

Sagaponack Woman Still Missing, Husband Violated Order Of Protection

A missing person poster was tacked to a tree in Wainscott for Lilia Aucapina of Sagaponack, who was last seen at a small industrial park there. LAURA WEIR
Oct 20, 2015 4:17 PM

The estranged husband of a missing Sagaponack woman had violated an order of protection, confronting her and a male friend he accused of having an affair with her, on the morning of October 10—the same day she went missing, according to Southampton Town Police.

But police say that 50-year-old Carlos Aucapina, also of Sagaponack, has not been linked by any evidence to the disappearance of his wife, Lilia Aucapina, 40. In fact, they say her disappearance is something of a mystery: They have no leads in the investigation.

Meanwhile, police are “desperately” combing wooded areas near the homes of both the missing woman and Mr. Aucapina, her soon-to-be-ex-husband, looking for a clue to her whereabouts.

“We are hopeful that a safe return is imminent,” said Lieutenant James Kiernan of the Southampton Town Police, “but we also have to look at the possibility that there is not going to be a safe return.”

When asked if there were any leads on Ms. Aucapina’s whereabouts, Lt. Kiernan replied, “I wish.”

Mr. and Ms. Aucapina are in the process of a divorce in the Suffolk County Family Court, where Justice Martha Luft issued a stay-away order to Mr. Aucapina.

He since has been charged with misdemeanor criminal contempt by both Southampton Town Police and East Hampton Town Police after he was accused of violating that order of protection in the two jurisdictions just before Ms. Aucapina went missing on October 10.

Southampton attorney Colin Astarita, who represents Carlos Aucapina in the criminal contempt cases, said he faces two counts because he first drove past his wife’s home in Sagaponack before catching up with her in person in Wainscott on Saturday morning, October 10, constituting a separate violation of the court order.

On Tuesday, Mr. Astarita called his client “a devoted father and a very hardworking individual who is extremely concerned about his wife’s disappearance.” He suggested that Ms. Aucapina “may have left the area temporarily,” blaming “the stress of the divorce and a new relationship coming to light” that she hadn’t told her family about. He said the couple have been married for more than 20 years and have two grown children.

“Carlos Aucapina and his family are thoroughly cooperating with the authorities and are hopeful and praying for her safe return,” the attorney added.

According to the arrest and incident reports filed by East Hampton Town Police at Justice Court, the morning of the day Ms. Aucapina went missing, she and a male friend, Angel Tejada, and her husband were involved in a verbal dispute at 8:21 a.m. at the Meeting House Lane Medical Practice on Montauk Highway in Wainscott. According to Mr. Tejada’s statement to police, Mr. Aucapina confronted them and accused him of having an affair with Ms. Aucapina.

Mr. Tejada told police that he and Ms. Aucapina have known each other for several months and were walking from his house on Clyden Road in Wainscott to pick up her car, which was parked at the medical practice. She had left it there the night before because she spent the night at Mr. Tejada’s house.

According to his statement, Mr. Aucapina called Ms. Aucapina’s brother, Carlos Parra, who “started saying bad stuff to Lilia, and he was trying to start a fight with me.”

Mr. Tejada called police because he was fearful that the altercation with Mr. Aucapina would become physical, as Mr. Aucapina had confronted him in the past.

Police said Ms. Aucapina was not involved in the verbal dispute at all, but she was present, which still constitutes a violation of the order of protection by her husband.

When Mr. Tejada called police, both Mr. Parra and Mr. Aucapina left the parking lot of the medical practice, according to court documents.

Mr. Astarita said Mr. Aucapina had said he approached his wife in Wainscott and asked to talk, and she “said that she didn’t want to speak with him and that he needed to leave, which he did.”

Mr. Aucapina admitted to Southampton Town Police on Saturday, October 10, that he had violated the order of protection, and he was subsequently arrested and charged with criminal contempt by that department.

He was arraigned on the charge and released on $10,000 bail on October 15 at Southampton Town Justice Court—and then was immediately arrested by East Hampton Town Police in connection with the incident in Wainscott in the morning of October 10. He was later arraigned on Friday, October 16 in East Hampton Town Justice Court and is due back on October 22.

“We can’t rule him out—we can’t rule anybody out,” Lt. Kiernan said of Mr. Aucapina when asked about suspects in his wife’s disappearance last week. “Every single possibility is wide open right now.”

Ms. Aucapina, who is originally from Ecuador, was last seen at the altercation in Wainscott and reported missing by family later that day. “She doesn’t miss church on Saturday afternoon—and she didn’t show up to her church,” Lt. Kiernan said, adding that her son, Ronald Aucapina, reported her missing because she was not answering his emails.

Homeland Security officials have told Southampton Town Police that Ms. Aucapina’s passport has not been used to leave the country. “We know that and are looking at every avenue we possibly can,” Lt. Kiernan said. “Right now, what our efforts have been since Saturday is combing miles and miles of wooded areas, areas around both houses where the husband and the woman that is missing live.”

Many different departments are working together to find Ms. Aucapina, including the Southampton Town Police Patrol and Detective Divisions, East Hampton Town Police Patrol and Detective Divisions, Quogue Village Police, Suffolk County Police Aviation, K-9 divisions, New York State Police and K-9 Divisions, Suffolk County Sheriffs K-9, the State Department of Environmental Conservation, and New York State Forestry Officers. Soon, the Southampton Town bay constables will search around different lake areas, Lt. Kiernan explained.

He added, “I have to find this woman—we are trying desperately everything we can.”

Police are continuing to search for any trace of her whereabouts, including pieces of clothing that could be located in the woods. He acknowledged that, because they are searching the woods, they have not ruled out the possibility that they are looking for a body.

Ms. Aucapina is a Hispanic female with brown eyes and medium-length black hair. Police said she is 5 feet 3 inches tall and weighs 130 pounds. When she was last seen, she had her hair up and was wearing blue jeans, brown boots and a black winter jacket.

Southampton Town Police are requesting help from the public to find Ms. Aucapina. Anyone with information on her whereabouts should contact Southampton Town Police Detectives at (631) 702-2230, or (631) 728-3400; write to crimetips@southamptontownny.gov; or call 911.

Southampton Town Police issued a Code Red alert on Friday night and is requesting anyone with additional information to contact Southampton Town Detectives at (631) 728-3400, or call 911 and ask for the Southampton Town Police Department,

Staff writer Jaime Zahl contributed to this story.

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I'm not saying this guy is guilty, but very few adults are kidnapped or killed by a stranger. I hope this lady is found, and is hiding in a safe place.
By chief1 (2770), southampton on Oct 16, 15 6:25 PM
This comment has been removed because it is a duplicate, off-topic or contains inappropriate content.
By nazznazz (276), east hampton on Oct 16, 15 8:49 PM
Really, what kind of Neanderthal-ish, trailer-trash attitude is that? You think the only crime white people commit is robbing banks from Wall Street? When will you wake up and realize that being Hispanic has nothing to do with a propensity to commit violent crime. There are plenty of recent incidents in the news that were committed by non-hispanics.
By Funbeer (270), Southampton on Oct 16, 15 9:07 PM
This comment has been removed because it is a duplicate, off-topic or contains inappropriate content.
By Nukiepoo (123), Southampton on Oct 17, 15 11:26 AM
Please don't insult the Neanderthals.

They were bright, and inventive people, not the dullards Victorian era "science" presumed them to be.
By Mr. Z (11561), North Sea on Oct 20, 15 8:40 PM
I just wonder why the police didn't send out the phone red alert days ago. Why wait until almost a week after this poor woman's disappearance? I hope she is hiding with friends after being confronted by her husband in violation of her order of protection.
By Crabby (63), Southampton on Oct 16, 15 11:50 PM
remember the Sister...
By LI native (127), LI on Oct 21, 15 12:06 AM
Please tell me Lt James "Barney Fife" isn't in charge of this investigation!! If so, I pity the woman and her family. This incompetent fool has "gotta find this woman!"- how about finding the murderer who ran down the nun??!! How's that investigation coming?
By PoliticallyIncorrect (45), earth on Oct 17, 15 11:39 AM
1 member liked this comment
Sister Jackie Walsh was mowed down and left to die on the side of Rose Hill Road in Water Mill on Monday, July 9, 2012 -- just over 39 months ago. At a minimum Supv. Throne-Holst and the Town Board could order the SHT PD to make all investigative material public. Many questions remain . . .
By PBR (4947), Southampton on Oct 17, 15 12:54 PM
1 member liked this comment
wait a sec you're accusing me of having a trailer park attitude and your name is "Funbeer"???
By nazznazz (276), east hampton on Oct 17, 15 4:19 PM
saw the helicopters and the park rangers with trailers and boats today. hope this will not come to a bad end but not looking good. feel she would not run way without her children. may God be with her wherever she is.
By xtiego (698), bridgehampton on Oct 17, 15 8:29 PM
Getting the police alert overman week after she went missing was shocking. The scant reporting by all news agencies and infrequent updates is also frustrating and counterproductive to finding Ms. Aucapina. If this had happened anywhere else, it would be top priority.
By bambi (76), bridgehampton on Oct 19, 15 8:25 AM
*over a *
By bambi (76), bridgehampton on Oct 19, 15 8:26 AM
Every time this story is updated, the Press should repost Ms. Aucapina's picture.
By Mrs.Sea (268), Sag Harbor on Oct 20, 15 11:23 AM
Any leads? "I wish" - -Lt Barney Fife Kiernan. Wishing isnt gonna find this woman. Why don't you let the detectives run the investigation. Let them do what they are trained for and stay out of their way. We all saw how well you supervised the hit and run nun case.
By PoliticallyIncorrect (45), earth on Oct 20, 15 6:02 PM

South American societies deal with problems with violence --- it's a cultural norm. Murder rates in the Honduras are one of the highest in the world. It's a shame that the East End has to deal with illegal aliens ..... a nun run over and killed, a women killed in Bridgehampton recently at a cross-walk. Too many problems, from overcrowding in homes, minor and major crimes, drugs ...... I presume this guy is legally in the US. If he is not, he should be deported.

By JohnSmith (25), Johnson City, Tennessee on Oct 20, 15 8:26 PM
And The Press deleted MY post and not this one... Right-on, John.
By Nukiepoo (123), Southampton on Oct 24, 15 8:23 PM
1 member liked this comment
God help her - saying a prayer right now. Husband MUST be a person of interest in this case. If she left without her kids to save herself - to save her own life - imagine what she is going through either way. If she is alive. Then God help the children. Please - Social Services - Child Welfare - take them away and get them some help too. They are surely facing abuse as well.
By Vikki K (490), Southampton on Oct 21, 15 4:32 PM
Perhaps some more signs around the Town would help! Or are political ad signs the only ones allowed? Certainly enough of those!
By Mouthampton (433), Southampton on Oct 21, 15 11:41 PM
Better pictures of Ms. Aucapina would be a good start. The in print photo of her is a joke. This paper must rethink it's priorities. There are much larger photos of the Wainscott Medical Building (not missing) and her estranged husband (also not missing). I hope she is found safe and if so it won't be by the photos in this paper.
By scottso (18), southampton on Oct 23, 15 12:47 PM
Any more recent updates?
By Rich Morey (370), East Hampton on Oct 30, 15 11:15 AM
Hot Tubs,SALE, Southampton Village, SouthamptonFest weekend