David Dean Bottrell Tells Stories of Love

The world of love can be truly tricky. Full of ups, downs and, on occasion, total blindsides, David Dean Bottrell has experienced it all and he has amassed plenty of stories of romance to share along the way. In his theatrical production on the subject, he makes a case for the fact that love is never easy — and it doesn’t necessarily always have to be about a romantic partner either.

Just in time for Valentine’s Day, “David Dean Bottrell Makes Love: A One Man Show” comes to Bay Street Theater for one night only on February 11. The show starts at 8 p.m., but prior to curtain, at 7 p.m. Bay Street will host “A Sweet Affair,” a casual Valentine’s Day celebration in the lobby. The mixer event is co-sponsored by the LGBT Network and hosted by Sag Harbor local Tina Pignatelli.

Though Bottrell, a native of Kentucky, is a familiar face on television and has had both guest star and recurring roles on shows like “Boston Legal,” “Modern Family,” “Law & Order,” “True Blood,” “Mad Men,” “Criminal Minds,” “CSI” and others, in recent years, it’s his one-man show that has gotten him notice. He has performed “David Dean Bottrell Makes Love” extensively both in New York and Los Angeles and the upcoming Bay Street performance represents the first time he will perform it outside of those two cities. In a recent phone interview, Bottrell explained how he came to develop this show in which he shares some of the most personal and heartfelt stories of his life.

“This whole thing began when I did stories on a storytelling circuit in L.A.,” Bottrell said. “I decided one night to do a story on my ex of 10 years who was an alcoholic. The stories had a limit of 1,500 words so I thought, ‘I wonder if I could get it all in in 1500 words?’

“I did it and it was a huge success, people were laughing and at the tail end of the story, I could hear sniffles,” he added. “I was amazed at the way they connected to this particular story. I wondered how many other love stories I have in me, all these things of my rock and roll love life.”

Bottrell, indeed, felt he had a lot to share — stories in which he was in pursuit of love, stories in which he was loved by someone whom he didn’t love back, and even love stories related to people who were not romantic partners, like his mother, father and mentally ill sister. Some of his stories of love are even calculated with an ulterior motive.

“When I was five years old I got engaged to the little girl next door because I wanted to play on her swing set,” Bottrell admitted.

But perhaps the basis of many of Bottrell’s on-stage stories grew out of a period in his life when he found himself single and in Los Angles. Firmly believing he had to find someone to love before he lost his looks, he used every website under the sun to see if he could make a match.

“I had all kinds of crazy adventures, most of which didn’t result in a love life, but I met a lot of characters,” he said, “So I spun it into a show.”

During a year and a half run of the show on the Comedy Central Stage in Los Angeles, Bottrell was struck by the number of people who came to the show, many of them more than once.

“Eighteen months is a crazy amount of time for a show to run in L.A., and it was always packed and people came back and brought their friends,” said Bottrell. “Sometimes people would come up after the show, and say, ‘I have a friend who is a gay, I’m bringing him next week.’ A lot of this stuff is very personal and I never dreamed I’d stand on a stage and say it out loud.

“Initially when I did it, I was terrified. I thought friends of mine will come see it and I won’t be able to look them in the eye, but what I found was people were embracing me after the show,” he noted. “They said, ‘I’m so glad I’m heard and it’s not just me.’ It’s an amazing sort of therapeutic experience for us to laugh together.”

Bottrell explains that rather than being a chronological retelling of his love life over the years, the evening is more of a story collage that winds in and out of topics like how one holds on to love once they find it, and what to do when love is lost.

“It’s about the mystery of it all,” he said. “I have to tell you, I didn’t know what to expect when I started this, and I thought, ‘I’m going to be honest.’ The audience is tremendously diverse and people are always inviting others to come. When I did the show in New York, I came out one night and there was an elderly couple. They came up and said that it was hilarious and I said, ‘How do you happen to be here?’ They said, Our granddaughter brought us tickets.’”

It may be that people come to Bottrell’s show time and time again because he tends to change the material over time as his own love life grows and expands, contracts or is derailed.

“It has evolved as it’s gone along. I haven’t figured out the story line up at Bay Street, but I will probably do my greatest hits,” he said. “One of my favorite things about this show is that sometimes people recognize me from TV shows, but when I come out after this show there are people waiting to talk to me who I’ve never met. They are waiting to tell me a story out of their life.

“I’m so honored by that, and sometimes they’re funny stories and sometimes sad stories, but they feel close enough and feel safe to share those with me, which is touching,” he said.

Over time, Bottrell has also found that his show has gotten both darker and funnier.

“I’m older, but the new effect is that people are laughing in a deeper way, as kind of a recognition,” he said. “They are seeing their own lives and experiences in mine and I’m holding for these longer laughs. There’s something communal I really like and I’m also more improvisational now.

“I think I used to feel alone. I was used to being an actor working with another actor, I have one line, and then it’s their line. I love the idea of disappearing when I’m stepping into this new character who is not me,” he said. “But a show like this is the opposite. I’m transparent and want to be as honest as I can be. I’ve discovered the best measuring stick for me is to maybe tell a little more truth than I intended to tell. It’s scary to do that, but when I hear the audience laugh at whatever limb I went out on, they trust me.

“If there’s one thing I have learned as an artist, there’s nothing sadder than the truth, more frightening or funnier than the truth,” he added. “It just takes some guts to tell it.”

“David Dean Bottrell Makes Love: A One-Man Show” will be presented at Bay Street Theater on Saturday, February 11, at 8 p.m. The show is directed by Guy Storman. “A Sweet Affair,” a casual Valentine’s Day celebration in the lobby of the theater begins at 7 p.m. The mixer is co-sponsored by the LGBT Network and open to all ticket holders of the show. The evening includes a signature Valentine’s Day-themed cocktail available for purchase, raffle prizes, and light fare, sweets and desserts. Visit baystreet.org for details. Bay Street Theater is on Long Wharf in Sag Harbor.