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Forget about a laugh a minute. Colin Quinn had the audience cracking up every 15 seconds during the opening night of “Long Story Short” at Guild Hall on Wednesday, June 8.
Watching stand-up comedy—even good stand-up—is a very subjective experience and the pressure on the performer to be funny is a difficult feat for even a 10-minute set. But this reviewer was thrilled beyond belief that Mr. Quinn missed nary a beat during his 75-minute one-man show, which was directed and produced by comedy legend Jerry Seinfeld.
I have never laughed so much during a stand-up routine. Ever.
Mr. Quinn began the show, a smart and funny version of the history of the world told in an hour and 15 minutes, by telling the audience that people are boring and have been so for millennia.
“The Old Testament and the New York Post, same stories,” he said. “The unexamined life is boring. And the examined life is not so great either, unless you’re Stephen Hawking or Ryan Seacrest.”
He then went on to riff on the great philosopher Socrates, whose dying words were reported to be something to effect of “I die knowing I know nothing.”
“Kind of a dick move, Socrates,” Mr. Quinn barked.
The comedian moved deftly from ancient times to modern day, highlighting the most important events surrounding the world leadership of the time. Of the topics he broached, no citizenship, nationality, religion or philosophy was spared.
For example, Mr. Quinn said that the reason the British were successful in war was not because of their military strength, but rather because of their contempt.
“The British are coming ... We better clean up,” he joked. Mr. Quinn then affected an English sneer in response. “Is this where you live?” he asked disdainfully.
He also gave his take on England’s generations-long unrequited love affair with France—a running joke throughout the show.
Talking about Judaism, Mr. Quinn gave his opinion on why the word “shalom” is used for both hello and good-bye. It’s just a more effective and simpler use of the language, he said.
“The Jews get chased out of everywhere,” the comedian joked.
And Mr. Quinn pulled no punches when it came to the United States.
“America is the bouillabaisse of the fallen empires,” he said, adding that because of survival of the fittest, civilization today is made up of all the jerks (okay, he used a different word, but I’m sure you get the picture) from earlier times.
Aside from Mr. Quinn’s laugh-out-loud narrative—after the show, more than one audience member was overheard talking about how her face hurt from smiling and laughing so much—the stage set provided the perfect backdrop and the production values were spectacular. The entire show flowed with absolute precision in the areas of sound, graphics, timing and movement. Very impressive, indeed.
In case the show doesn’t translate as well to the page as it did live, this reviewer must report that the mostly full house roared at every single joke Mr. Quinn told, save one about Catholicism, which elicited a few groans. Bottom line: get thee to Guild Hall and see this hilarious show. At, at least by my count, at 300 laughs in 75 minutes, it’s the best deal you will ever get in comedy.
Colin Quinn’s “Long Story Short” stages at Guild Hall in East Hampton through Sunday, June 26. Show times are Tuesdays through Fridays and Sundays at 8 p.m., and Saturdays at 7 and 10 p.m. Tickets range from $40 to $85, or $36 to $80 for Guild Hall members. For reservations, call the Guild Hall box office at 324-4050 or visit guildhall.org or call Theatermania at (866) 811-4111 or visit theatermania.com.
Dawn Watson on Jun 14, 2011