Revisiting a time-honored art form in storytelling series

It’s as easy as talking to a friend. It’s as hard as giving a presentation to a room full of suits. When it’s done, personal stories have been shared, emotions evoked and some of the connections that bind our species together have been experienced. The hope is that all will return another day as either storyteller or listener, in order to build a community of story lovers.

This is the organizing principle of the first storytelling session at Rogers Memorial Library in Southampton on Monday, March 15. The series aims to bring together people who have stories to tell and those who enjoy hearing them to create a new live experience on the East End. “Our Lives: Telling and Listening to Personal Narratives” will be held every other month through September. It’s led by writer and memoirist Gabrielle Selz of Southampton.

Ms. Selz was moved to establish the series after first attending and then participating in New York City storytelling events. Looking for new ways to be involved in the world of writing, she accepted a friend’s invitation to attend a storytelling event hosted by The Moth. Not knowing what to expect, Ms. Selz was surprised at the wait on a blocks-long line to be part of a crowd of 500.

When she had taken her place in the audience, she was riveted by the intimate stories shared by strangers. Storytellers walked into the spotlight and told a personal story without notes. The stories were funny, poignant and surprising. Not all were happy stories describing perfect lives. And though the evening was framed around a theme, none of the stories were alike.

Impressed, Ms. Selz kept returning and applying to tell her own story. Eventually, she was chosen and told a story of being whisked away by strangers during her first days at college. On another evening she told a story about the aftermath of a chance encounter with a romance paperback titled “Destiny in Disguise.”

Ms. Selz won The Moth’s New York Story Slam in November 2009 and competed in its Grand Slam in January 2010. One of her performances was chosen for a YouTube posting on The Moth’s website (www.themoth.org). She has also told stories at SpeakEasy: Stories from the Back Room held at Cornelia Street Café in Manhattan (www.speakeasystories.com).

Ms. Selz hopes to create the same excitement and community connection on the East End that’s sweeping New York City. Her series suggestion was welcomed by Rogers Memorial Library adult program director Penny Wright, and the first live storytelling session will be held on March 15 from 7 to 8:15 p.m. Subsequent events will be held on May 10, July 12 and September 13.

Each evening has a theme, with the first installment focusing on “a woman who has made a difference.” The topic was selected as part of the observance of Women’s History Month. May features stories on fathers. July highlights fatal attractions and hidden desires that can’t be resisted. September spotlights vacation trips gone wrong.

The stories are true, less than five minutes, and are told without notes. Storytellers are chosen in advance so each evening has a full slate. Everyone is welcome to apply for a spot in the limelight, and Ms. Selz stands ready to provide tips on telling effective stories. Action is important, as is making clear that the storyteller is also a character in the narrative. Stories should have a beginning, middle and end.

“The most important thing is for people to tell stories that communicate a personal truth about their lives,” she said. “They don’t have to be happy. It’s not about sharing a perfect moment from a perfect life. We relate to people when we recognize that no one is perfect. Listening and telling stories helps build community.”

People who love to listen are encouraged to attend to help foster that sense of community. A supportive and attentive audience is an important part of the equation, she said. Listening to your friends, neighbors or strangers can reveal sides of people that might not be apparent in casual conversation.

Ms. Selz has heard tales about a relative sailing on the Titanic, a septuagenarian talk about sex texting, or “sexting,” and sidesplitting stories that launched standup comedy routines. Everyone has a story and should get up and try it, Ms. Selz said. The experience is freeing, exhilarating and empowering.

“It’s just like telling a story to your friend, except there’s an audience,” she said. “It’s scary but exhilarating. Once you tell a story in front of 400 people, you know you can do anything.”

Live storytelling gave Ms. Selz’s writing a kick of excitement and better plotting, she said. Her personal essays have been published in More magazine, The New York Times and in the anthology, “Knowing Pains: Women on Love, Sex and Work in Our 40s” (Wingspan Press, 2008; edited by Molly Tracy Rose).

A 2009 New York Foundation for the Arts fellow in nonfiction literature, Ms. Selz is currently working on a memoir about her relationship with her mother before and during her mother’s descent into Alzheimer’s dementia.

“Our Lives: Telling and Listening to Personal Narratives” will be held on Monday, March 15, from 7 to 8:15 p.m. at the Rogers Memorial Library, 91 Coopers Farm Road, Southampton. 
Audience reservations for this free program should be made by calling 283-0774, ext. 523. Those interested in telling a story should call Ms. Selz at 283-2432.