Lawn Logic

I’ve been giving lawns a great deal of thought this summer.Initially my contemplations began when two nearby families living next to each other did lawn work that defied everything we’ve learned about lawns in the past two decades and how they should be started from scratch or renovated. I sat on my back porch and made mental notes so I could assess the progress through the summer. More on these two projects shortly, as they are both emblematic of how ignorant people can be in spite of research, commonly available information, and dare I say logic.

But lest you think I can do no wrong, guess again. Yes, I can be critical, but I am no more critical in my horticultural observations of anyone else than I am of myself. I had taken four days off from work and for me that means four additional days of work … in the garden and on the lawn. I spend at least two hours a week mowing and trimming, and about 10 days ago it was actually cool and brisk and I had enough energy left to get my second and last fertilizer application down. I set the spreader according to the bag directions (which never seem to quite work out), filled the hopper, did the ritual back and forth, and 20 minutes later the job was done.

There would be payback, though. Shortly after the next rain I knew the grass would be growing twice as fast but once again it would be a wonderful, lush green that I love so much. I pulled my light lounge chair out of the barn, set it in the midday sun in the middle of the driveway, set up a few Van Morrison tunes on the iPhone, reclined and marveled at how green the grass in front of me was and how it had grown so much in the three days since I’d last cut it. With this view, on this day and at this time, I was a happy camper.

I was fooling myself. It was only because of where I was sitting and the low angle that I was seeing the lawn at that hid the truth. Mowing at 3 1/2 inches also hides a lot. My lawn is/was full of weeds. Wild violets are rampant and ground ivy is snaking its tendrils, mocking my every effort at control and eradication.

Funny, though, it’s all a question of perception. People who drive by remark at what a great lawn I have. Neighbors think I pour tons of chemicals and fertilizer on it to make it look so great. In fact, it’s 95 percent organic, and I use only a small amount of fertilizer and that’s all organic. It’s a matter of perception. If they got out of their cars or walked across the lawn they’d see the truth.

If you take care of your own lawn you know what a battle it can be. Yes, I admit, I love my carpet of green and no I won’t turn it into edibles, moss, zoysia, low mow or no mow. I want my bluegrass, fescue, rye mix and blend. I love to lie on it, roll on it and call me a masochist, I enjoy working on it. I patch it, I overseed it, I forever weed it. I romp with the dog on it, I lie in the sun on the first warm spring day and I love to watch the robins pull the worms from it.

I am resigned, though. It’s not going to get easier. I’m happy just to keep the status quo. Now, a bit more about other lawns, then on to yours.

The neighbors across the street: One guy had to do some major house repairs and drainage work and when it was done his contractor brought in some soil, spread it about with heavy equipment that compacted it, then they brought in more heavy equipment to loosen it up, and raked it smooth. This was in June. They bring in a hydro-seeder, a big tank filled with seed and liquid mulch. The soil gets sprayed with the green stuff, which is probably a combination of cellulose and contractor’s mix … the cheapest of cheap grass seed mixtures. It germinates quickly, holds the soil in place for a while, then becomes a nightmare.

The seeding was done just at the time when crabgrass was germinating—and it certainly did. They turned the sprinklers on and everything came up. Everything. They now have the most wonderful lawn on the block. But it’s mostly crabgrass and after one frost it will just be back to dirt. Crabgrass gets killed by the first frost.

Had they only used a good seed mix in the hydro-seeder and added a pre-emergent like Tupersan before seeding they’d now have a wonderful lawn. But, they didn’t. They didn’t do their homework and now they are probably doomed for years and years to a lawn from hell.

And the guy next door? Well, he sees all this lawn work going on and it comes right up to his property so he figures this is the perfect time to renovate his lawn as well since the two lawns join at the property line. He goes out and rents a tiller, turns over a swatch where the properties meet that’s about 150 feet long and 30 feet wide. Rakes it smooth and flat, goes to the local hardware store and buys some bags of bargain lawn seed, spreads it and begins to water it every day … with his hose and a spray nozzle. He’s retired though and has plenty of free time.

So here we have a homeowner who’s started a new lawn in June just as it’s getting to be the hottest time of the year, just as every weed seed known to man wants to germinate and just as the drought of 2016 gets really, really serious. Oh, and I forgot to mention that the old lawn that he tilled to prep for his new lawn was mostly crabgrass. It was a seed bank of crabgrass that just loves to germinate in the heat of June. And it did. And now the two adjoining neighbors have beautifully matched lush lawns of crabgrass that they will be battling for years to come while they support Scott’s four-, five- and six-step weed-and-feed programs. A couple of bags of Tupersan could have made this a very different story.

So what is this Tupersan stuff? Well, it’s a pre-emergent herbicide and while it’s not known as one of the better ones it is the only one that allows you to plant grass seed in the spring and still control weeds like crabgrass. And while spring is NEVER the best time to start or renovate a lawn, if you have no choice, you should consider using Tupersan, as it’s insurance that will pay dividends as your turf seed germinates and grows while the weed seeds don’t.

Next week, don’t be a lawn idiot. Do it right the first time. Now go get a soil testing kit and test your soil for pH. And keep growing.