No Place Like Home For The Holidays

“Do you think it’s too much?”

This is a question my mom has asked me throughout the years during my adult life, when I first visit her Sag Harbor home after she has completed her holiday decorating. Setting the Christmas mood inside her house is an annual task she takes seriously, applying the critical eye and expertise of an interior designer — her true calling in life, although she’s made a very successful career as an insurance agent. When it comes to decorating, she has spot-on instincts, and she trusts them, but she also knows the value of an outside opinion.

Of course, though, it’s always perfect.

We look forward to the holidays — especially those on the December calendar — for a variety of reasons, but for most people, tradition is at the heart of the anticipation, making all the hard work leading up to it worthwhile.

For me, the way my mother decorates her Sag Harbor home during the holidays is always a particular delight of the Christmas season, filling me with nostalgic feelings. There is a magic she creates that, so far, I have been unable to replicate, although I try. For starters, she always seems to find the perfect tree, tailor-made for her living room, and is an expert at rooting out any possible imperfections. This year’s version came from Serene Green, just down the road from their house, and I suppose I should give my brother (who works there) some credit in picking it out.

Next, the ornaments are always perfectly spaced out, and there is a method and intention behind hanging them on the tree. My daughters, ages 10 and 7, were part of the effort this year — made to follow loving, but specific, directives on placement. Smaller ornaments up top, larger ones below, my mom instructed, and I am certain there was some retroactive rearranging after we went home.

The ornaments themselves are a delight, with so many from my own childhood still in places of prominence. My mom is an interesting blend of nostalgic and militantly organized: she routinely purges unused items from her home in a way that would make Marie Kondo proud, and yet she will hold onto items of sentimental value with a fervor. As a child, my favorite ornament was a faux bird’s nest that we would always place deep in the interior of the tree, and then set a delicate faux bird inside of it. I loved the task of putting that ornament in a special place of prominence in the tree, and peeking inside to see the little bird tucked away, snug and safe, in its little nest. That bird is still there today, and my middle child, an animal lover, now takes the same delight in finding the perfect spot for it that I did.

Birds are a big theme for my mom when it comes to holiday decorating, both on the tree and in places of prominence, including mantle and window displays, and several tablescapes that round out her decorating. There is the extravagant and regal peacock ornament with brilliant, silky and shiny tail plumage that stands out as the only large ornament near the tree topper, as well as the many other small, delicate finches and songbirds found throughout the house.

They remind me of my grandmother, who was a devoted bird lover her whole life and always had bird feeders at her home in Noyac that attracted a wide variety of beautiful birds in the area. Caring for both birds and houseplants was a big tradition and joy for my grandmother, who died when I was a junior in college. My mother has carried on both traditions, and I love watching how my own children now have the same association with their grandmother that I did with mine.

My children also get a kick out of trying to guess who the small people with bad bowl cuts are in a few crudely constructed ornaments that were made by me and my brothers in the 1980s and early ’90s. Of course my mother still has tons of them.

But if I had to choose two favorite elements of my mother’s annual Christmas display, I’d have to go with the icicles and the villages. For as long as I can remember, the pièce de résistance of my mother’s Christmas decor has been a set of hand-blown glass icicles. They are simple yet exquisite, long and thin, created in a beautiful spiral pattern, and my mother painstakingly places them on the tree so they are not only evenly dispersed throughout, but so that each one is placed to capture the glow of the delicate white lights — never colored — that adorn the tree. The effect is sparkling, twinkling magic.

And then there are the Christmas villages. Over the years, my mother has amassed a collection of tiny, delicate figurines and mini storefronts that she places throughout the house, on tabletops and kitchen windowsills, often threading in the tiniest possible twinkling lights and miniature, glittering faux Christmas trees to complete the effect. Many of them belonged to my grandmother, including the tiny wooden skiers and the set of ice skaters that I love the most. She has collected the storefront replicas of places in her beloved town, like the Sag Harbor Cinema, the American Hotel and the municipal building, all of which she purchased at the Wharf Shop, one of her most beloved haunts.

I live in East Quogue now, a place I’ve grown to love just as much as Sag Harbor, and my husband and I have created plenty of our own traditions and memories with our three children. I’ve always felt lucky to remain so close to my own parents, because I know that not everyone has that experience, and I’m especially aware of and grateful for that blessing during the holidays. I know my mom feels the same way. At the risk of falling down the abyss of big feelings, I asked her about it and what she said didn’t surprise me at all — because throughout my life, she’s spared no effort to make the holidays as special as possible for me and my siblings, and now her grandchildren, as well.

“Christmas has always been a special time for me,” she said. “I loved making it fun and memorable for my own children and now I get to do it again for my grandchildren. Christmas, to me, is all about love and family time and seeing the excitement and anticipation on my little grandkids’ faces when they see Santa and give him their lists.”

Of course, making all that magic happen isn’t easy, especially for a woman who has worked a full-time job her whole life. She will admit that, but knows how to keep it in perspective, and sums it up in a simple way.

“Christmas can be stressful,” she said. “But I try to remember what it’s all about and not get caught up in all the hype. The best recipe for a happy holiday is family and love.”