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Aug 20, 2019 10:25 AMPublication: The Southampton Press

Beachcomber, August 22

Aug 20, 2019 12:18 PM

Many of you who know me have asked how my mother is doing, and if she plans on making it here this season. Regretfully, she is not going to come to Southampton. I am happy to report, however, that she is enjoying her summer in Vermont with my brother and sister-in-law and all my nieces. She is missing it here, especially her favorite shops, but has been sending me to several of them to see if there is anything she “needs.” I can assure you, her wardrobe is more than complete, and she “needs” nothing! But I have ventured to Dazzelle for clothing and the Perfect Purse for more designer handbags, two of her absolute favorite places.

Thursday night, a group of us headed over to Gastro Pub for cocktails and dinner. It has sort of turned into a thing, as we go to a different restaurant each week. Several friends stopped by for cocktails before heading on for the evening. The rest of us moved over to the bar, where we had a delicious dinner, which was an assortment of appetizers that we all shared. As always, Suzanne and Amanda were behind the bar, making sure we were well taken care of.

Friday evening, it was a lovely dinner with friends at one of the private golf clubs for their version of a cookout. The views were spectacular as we enjoyed watching the sunset and then had an outstanding meal. Thank you to our hostess for a very special night.

First stop on Saturday was the Southampton Arts Center for the fire department’s chicken and ribs barbecue. The event was to raise funds to help maintain the vintage and antique fire trucks that are still around. All the firemen helped out serving food and making sure that those who attended enjoyed the party.

There also was live entertainment all afternoon and into the evening, plus a dunking booth. I especially liked the 1912 American LaFrance Hook & Ladder truck that was sitting on display on Jobs Lane. By the way, this truck was delivered to the Southampton Village Fire Department on September 11, 1913, and has never left the fire district.

My next stop was the opening party of the new exhibit at the Southampton History Museum on Meeting House Lane. “High Style in the Gilded Age” is the title of the exhibit, and it takes you from 1870 to 1930 in Southampton. With vintage photos and incredible period costumes, this is definitely worth a visit.

Seen admiring the photos: Linda and Bob Beck, Vincent Manzo, Karen Constant, Sherrill and Jerry Adams, James Fahnestock, Mimi Rogers, actor Vincent De Paul (who was visiting from Beverly Hills), Mary Cummings, Colin Shanley, Neill Slaughter and his mother, Jane, Kevin Tierney, Sally Van Allen, Julia Adams, and Vincent Minuto.

Back in the car and off to East Hampton for the ARF Bow Wow Meow Ball, which is held on the grounds of the shelter. This year, the shelter honored Isaac Mizrahi with the Champion of Animals Award. The evening was presented by Out East Rose and included a live auction featuring one-of-a-kind cat and doghouses designed by Donna Karan and Gabby Karan de Felice, Robert Wilson, and Steven Gambrell.

I just love this party, as they always have a bunch of dogs walking among the guests. I got down to say hello to one puppy when I was suddenly greeted by the most adorable 3-month-old Jack Russell mix named Ruby. She was an absolute love and got in my arms as we walked around. I was in navy blue and covered in short white hairs — but I just didn’t care as she kept licking my cheeks.

Seen enjoying the night: Candy and Mark Udell, Ellen and Chuck Scarborough, Tom Gessler and Nancy Keeshan, Jane Gill, Sandra Powers, Arthur Dunnam and Roy Cohen, Zoe Kamitses, Susan Burke, Gordon Hoppe, Lisa McCarthy, Phil Burns, Christine Grippo, Barbara Slifka, Peter Marino, Kathy Rayner, Virginia Coleman, Bruce Weber and Nan Bush, Sylvie and Olivier Chantecaille, David Monn, Sandra Foschi and Bill Evans, Christopher Mason, and Scott Howe.

I couldn’t stay long, as there was one more event to attend, so I got in the car and headed back to Southampton. Stopped by to pick up two friends who had been invited to the event by the homeowner hosting it, and off we went.

As soon as we got out of the car, we were greeted by security to confirm that our names were on the list. Mine was, but the two other people I was with were not. We didn’t make a big deal — we just got back into the car and left. All dressed up and nowhere to go, we decided to head over to the Silver Linings Diner to have dinner, which turned out to be delightful.

Navigating the charity circuit can be a bit of a tightrope-walk for the organizations and the PR firms that are hired to promote them and ensure that they run smoothly. I understand completely. But when the hostess of the evening has invited someone and the organization’s internal PR people can’t figure it out, things get a little messy.

The sad part is that the ARF event, which I was enjoying, was short-changed, since I had to leave early to make the last event, and that charity never even got mentioned at all since I never made it inside.

Since I am bringing this up I want to mention the other issue charities are having, and that is a decline in attendance based on who the chairperson or the honoree of an event is. I am always grateful to those willing to put in the hard work to make one of these events successful; however, it is very important to remember the reason that you are doing all that work. It is for the charity and not to been in the spotlight yourself or for your own personal agenda. It isn’t about a photo op or making it into The New York Times Style section.

It’s time to check your egos at the door, because when egos get in the way, the only one to suffer is the charity. Some people are starting to believe their own press releases, forgetting that individuals in their employ are writing those releases.

Unfortunately, some of the quiet money has been declining to attend events because of those people who are involved. I have had far too many conversations with friends that start with, “If So-and-So is involved, we will not be attending.” I know firsthand that this is affecting the bottom line on some events.

Fortunately, several of the people are still giving to the charities, but they are doing it privately, and we will never know who they are. Admirable on their part, in my opinion.

I took Sunday off, as the hectic pace of the season is starting to catch up with me. It was so nice to just relax and do nothing all day.

Thursday evening, the Center for Therapeutic Riding of the East End will hold its annual cocktail party at Sebonack Golf Club. This is always a fantastic party and not to be missed.

Saturday night, the Prostate Cancer Foundation will hold its annual gala at the Parrish Art Museum. The Dormition of the Virgin Mary Greek Orthodox Church will host its Blue Dream Summer Gala at the Muses. This year, they are bringing awareness and support to Stony Book Southampton Hospital.

Hope to see you there!

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southamptonfest, hamptons funraiser, southampton rotary