There is an old adage that says: “If you live long enough, you’ll experience everything.” Well, I have followed and studied politics for more than six decades, and I thought that I had seen almost everything.
This November’s ballot will feature a contest, which I call “The Battle of the Thirds,” for a seat on the Suffolk County Legislature. For the Democrats, the candidate running for reelection is “Bridget the Third,” and for the Republicans it will be Robert J. Carpenter III. You can’t make this up, folks.
The most quirky part of this upcoming contest is that neither candidate wants the job. Bridget the Third, on the third of May in Patchogue, announced her candidacy for U.S. Congress in 2022, simultaneously with her run for reelection to the Suffolk County Legislature.
Her opponent, Republican Robert J. Carpenter III, is another total enigma. Several emails to the GOP requesting information resulted in no response. This leads me to believe that Robert J. Carpenter III is a Republican placeholder.
Running against a placeholder, instead of a real candidate, is not a new experience for Bridget the Third. In her first reelection bid for the legislature, the Republican candidate was Heather Collins, a placeholder. Heather never showed up at any debate — I know this, as my wife and I attended all the debates. Additionally, there were no ads for her in the newspapers or lawn signs to support her run.
When all the votes were counted, Heather received more than a third of the votes cast — not too bad for a no-show!
A recent letter to the editor [“How Many More Acts?” Letters, April 29] by a brilliant and funny Southampton political commentator ended with a reference to a Peter Sellers movie, “The Mouse That Roared.” This started me thinking: What if Robert J. Carpenter III wins the 2021 election for the Suffolk County Legislature because Bridget the Third was too busy running for the 2022 congressional primary?
One fine body…