I saw a friend from my old neighborhood at the supermarket recently. She had that harried look of someone who barely had time to complete a sentence.
She yelled across the aisle, “Let’s do lunch soon!”
“Definitely. After Christmas.”
She laughed appreciatively and gave me two thumbs up. I added our date to my PC (post-Christmas) calendar, along with a museum visit, coffee with a college friend, and dinner with former work colleagues who, like me, are retired yet so damn busy.
The length of my Christmas to-dos would rival any 6-year-old’s toy list. Making lists makes me feel organized. As I draw a line through each chore, I experience a sense of accomplishment and a certainty that I have things under control. But I have a tendency to overestimate myself and underestimate time, and as I get older everything takes longer than it used to.
Thanksgiving week, I do a massive shop for basic stuff, like cleaning supplies, paper products, pantry items, batteries, wine and vodka — things I want to have in the house to be prepared for the holidays. But how many times have I gone to King Kullen manned with a detailed strategy, items arranged according to aisles — only to discover when I am in the middle of cooking that I have forgotten an essential ingredient that was on the list?
It’s embarrassing the number of times I run back to the supermarket, but I know I am not alone. Last week, in front of me on the checkout line was a woman with an overflowing cart who kept mumbling, “What have I forgotten?”
PC, I think I will start using Instacart again like I did during the pandemic. Their shopping crew seems less distracted than I am.
When I was a child, we had an Advent wreath with four candles set up on the dining room table. The candles represented hope, love, joy and peace. The first Sunday of Advent, we lit one candle and started the countdown until Christmas.
I still believe in those virtues, but now the four weeks of Advent provide a structure for preparing for the big day.
The first week of Advent sets the tone and includes bringing up all the Christmas decorations from the basement to our living room. I shop at Fowler’s for two Christmas trees, one for the foyer and the other for our living room. They deliver.
Then my husband and I check the lights and realize that half of them are cold white and the other soft. I always need more ornaments, because the trees I purchased are always larger than usual.
That’s when we start to blast Christmas music to keep us jolly. I will donate the lights we don’t use and see if anybody would want boxes of holiday CDs. I just might consider a majestic artificial tree on sale, PC.
Gift shopping starts on week one and continues for most of the month. We have seven grandchildren ranging in age from 1 to 21. The little ones still get piles of presents that Santa leaves at our house. I treat the older ones to lunch at Lolly’s, a greasy spoon, and then we shop for whatever they want within the budget.
I spend a lot of time on Route 58 in Riverhead. TJMaxx is my go-to for gifts, Christmas cards and whatever else hits my eye, which is usually well-priced cashmere for myself. I tend to go overboard. After I look at the credit card bill, PC, I will return the excess.
Week two, I systematically start writing Christmas cards. I only do 10 at a time, because looking through my alphabetical list depresses the hell out of me. I can’t bring myself to remove index cards of those who are no longer in our life for a variety of reasons: death, divorce, distance. I have turned some of those cards around and put new additions to the other side.
There was a time when I sent a hundred cards, many with notes or letters. Now I mail half the number. This year, I remembered to buy stamps at the post office. Last year, I ordered them online and they arrived in January. PC, I will update my list, and it really is time to computerize the whole system and print address labels.
By week three, the decorating and the majority of gifts have been purchased, which means constant wrapping. I love seeing stacks of colorful, beribboned presents. I have finally started to use name tags that eliminate the guessing games and inappropriate gifts. My legs and hips don’t appreciate sitting on the floor while I wrap, and after a week of baking my back is crying, “Enough!”
I really could use a massage, but I should probably wait until PC.
As week four approaches, it’s time for a dermatologist checkup, but I don’t want my face to be a red mess for Christmas. It’s flu season. I think I should get the shot. I can squeeze it in when I am at Costco.
I notice a tenderness on my lower gum. I think about seeing my dentist, but I’d rather eat cookies and sit by the fire. I’ll make appointments for January, PC.
The details of my post-Christmas list change from year to year, but there is always one constant: Go on a diet.
Denise Gray Meehan on Dec 2, 2021