Everyone Poops

It’s the title of Tarō Gomi’s beloved children’s book, which has, for nearly 50 years, been delivering a simple but universal reminder: “Since we all eat, we all must poop. All of us! Everyone!” It doesn’t seem like fodder for this space — but, increasingly, more and more people behave as though (how shall we put this?) their own poop is perfumed in a unique way.

We are all trapped together on an island that, though long, is densely populated in places, and increasingly so. As a result, we are slowly befouling this place we call home, polluting groundwater with our, ahem, effluent. Many homes simply store the discharge in underground pits, some of which tend to leak. The results are all around us.

One way to address the problem: more sewage treatment. But it seems that while each of us pulls a little handle several times a day to flush our leavings away, none of us wants to be around to deal with it beyond that, or even think about it. Perhaps those pipes lead into outer space?

It’s happening right now in Riverside — talk of a much needed treatment plant has stirred up opposition — but it happens regularly in every community that needs an upgrade. Westhampton Beach had the benefit of piping its ordure miles away, to an existing treatment plant, which might be the only reason it has sewers downtown today. Southampton Village, East Hampton Village, Hampton Bays and Montauk remain unsewered in part because nobody wants to be nearby when the manure hits the fan, or the digester, or whatever technology is used. Finding a place to put the treatment facility is a greater issue these days than even funding.

The simple truth is, our collective coprophobia — look it up — is something we’re going to have to flush, too. Get over it. Modern septic treatments plants are not necessarily an olfactory disaster. Today, plants use a variety of methods to reduce the release of odors.

It would be silly to suggest that these methods are always effective. Of course there are negative impacts from time to time, and in a best case a treatment plant is sited far enough away from nearby homes to limit the effect.

What we have to eliminate is the panicky fear of “chemicals” and “fumes” raised by residents and educators in the Riverhead School District, since the Riverside treatment plant would be in the vicinity of a district school. There is no reason to expect that a $35.5 million sewage treatment system constructed in the 21st century will present more danger or health effects than the rivers of untreated sludge flowing all around us. There’s more reason to believe that it would be more like a much older plant built near what is now Stony Brook Southampton Hospital to process that facility’s waste — it’s been there for years, and most village residents have no idea where it is. It’s the definition of nondescript.

For too long, fear has kept adequate septic treatment from reaching our communities. It’s time to address those fears with a simple message: Everyone poops, we all do, we have to do something with it, and that has to happen somewhere. Until scientists figure out that whole “pipe to outer space” idea, we need septic plants just as we need food. Everyone does.