Feiler Reflects On 50 Years At Church Of The Atonement

Patricia Feiler was just 22 years old — and had just returned from her honeymoon — when she was asked to sub in as organist for Sunday services at the Church of the Atonement in the Village of Quogue.

Fifty years later, and she is still there.

For a half-century, Feiler has been children’s choir director and has played the organ at the small and quaint Episcopal church that was built in the 1800s and sits on the corner of Quogue Street and Assup’s Neck Lane. She has been a steady and beloved presence at the church, which is only open from June through Labor Day weekend, and announced earlier this year that this would be her last season. She will retire after Sunday service on Labor Day weekend.

Music has been in Feiler’s blood from the start. She grew up in Center Moriches as one of five children who are all musicians. Her father was the band director in the Center Moriches School District, and Feiler studied piano starting at a young age with Lillian Ott, whom she called an “extraordinary musician” and who studied in France and at Juilliard and was the organist at St. Mark’s Episcopal Church in Westhampton Beach. Ott encouraged Feiler to try her hand(s) at the organ when Feiler was a teenager, and she took to it immediately.

“I liked it right from the start,” Feiler said. “It’s like the piano on steroids.”

She described how the organ puts both hands and both feet to constant work, and also demands a high level of precision and efficiency, a challenge she enjoys.

Serving as children’s choir director and organist at Church of the Atonement has, essentially, been a long-term summer job for Feiler, a Mattituck resident. She started a career as a music teacher in the Eastport School District, teaching grades K through 12, before moving on to the Southold School District, where she taught classroom music and choir for 26 years.

Under her direction, the children’s choir became the main attraction of the cozy little church, which has held Sunday services since 1884, and as time went by, Feiler ended up with the children of former choir members under her direction.

“We have a strong tradition of a children’s choir here, and it’s amazing,” she said. “I now have the children of [congregants] who were in the choir themselves as 7- and 8-year-olds. Original choir members are always so happy and proud to bring them in. The parents are so happy to see the next generation.”

While she is not the leader of the church, Feiler has effectively been the most constant presence there over the decades. Because Church of the Atonement is only open for the summer season, several different priests have traditionally shared duties at the pulpit. Father Michael Ambler is one of them, and Feiler first met him when he was a 7-year-old in her children’s choir.

Ambler, who is now with the Episcopalian diocese in Maine, spoke about this time with Feiler.

“It was a special delight to work alongside her in a whole new way when I returned years later as one of the summer clergy,” he said. “She was always a joy to be near. Her love of the children and of music shone through everything she did.”

Father Rick McCall and Father Bob Dannals have split time delivering sermons at the church during summer Sundays for the past 20 years as well, and also have high praise for Feiler.

McCall said he had a good relationship with her from the start.

“We bonded on the music,” he said. “She could play anything she was asked to play out of that old hymnal that has some fairly arcane pieces in it. She was always up to that challenge.”

As impressive as that is, McCall said that Feiler’s talents extend well beyond her proficiency with the organ.

“I think one of the main things about her has been her ability to deal with the kids,” he said, pointing out that while Church of the Atonement is a relatively small church with a small congregation, there are anywhere from 15 to 30 kids in the choir in any given season. “It really has been a ministry for her and not just a job,” he added. “It’s clearly something that gave her a great deal of joy, and gave everyone else a great deal of joy as well.”

Dannals describes Feiler as “friendly, generous, talented, and especially good with children.”

“Tricia has an equilibrium that puts people at ease and helps bring out their best skills,” he said. “Her humble nature allows people to be themselves and to build trust. She’s an accomplished musician and artist, and offers those talents for the good of others.”

Feiler was in the midst of preparing for an art show of her work in Remsenburg last week while she was reflecting on her career at the church. Art, and landscape painting in particular, has been her other primary passion aside from music. One of her pieces, a coastal scene, hangs on the wall of the rectory, where visiting priests live while serving the church in the summer.

At age 72, Feiler said she decided to step down not for any specific reason, but simply because she and her husband would like to spend more of their down time traveling to interesting places in their camper. But she said she has built deep and lasting relationships with many congregants over the years, and will miss them when she is gone.

“The people in this church have been so welcoming,” she said. “So many generations have passed through these doors, down the aisle and up the aisle. I’m still very attached to some of the people who were young folks when I started and now they’re in their 80s and 90s. I still stay in touch with them. They really received me not just as an employee but as part of the congregation.”

What she gave to the congregation over the years by leading the children’s choir was equally meaningful, and she took her role seriously.

“As a musician, the focus is to bring beautiful music to the service and the people who are here, and to enhance the service,” she said. “With the kids, we get focused on the order of service, what’s next, where do I stand, the nitty gritty of just getting it right with the music. But then what you realize is, at some point, it transforms into a spiritual experience, not just for the people listening, but for me, and hopefully for the kids, too. They’re not just up there performing.”

As she looks ahead to her final handful of services at the church, Feiler said she will focus on preparing a few children who will sing solos, and also will choose some of her favorite pieces to play on the organ.

She has many favorites, but one that stands out is “The Hymn of Promise,” by Natalie Sleeth. Feiler referenced the lyrics: “In the bulb, there is a flower, In the seed, an apple tree, In cocoons, a hidden promise, Butterflies will soon be free, In the cold and snow of winter, There’s a spring that waits to be, Unrevealed until its season, Something God alone can see.”

For a church where the congregants return every year after a long winter away, it’s particularly fitting, Feiler said.