Little Lee Zeldin went up to The Hill
Promising passage of bill after bill,
But actually not much has happened since then.
Lee vowed to deliver, but never said when.
Republican values he’s trumpeted endlessly,
But all it comes down to is governing spend-lessly.
It seems that he’s able to do little better than
Proclaiming to all he’s a proud Army veteran.
So Little Lee goes around beating that drum,
And for everything else, it’s really ho-hum.
(Just as an aside, I should probably say
That I too wore the uniform back in the day.
But if I were in Congress, I wouldn’t be touting it
As if I could win people over by shouting it.)
So Little Lee Zeldin was stuck in a slump
Until he was rescued by one Donald Trump.
Big Donald, in trouble, was actively raising
Defenders, and Zeldin signed on for the praising.
Now, Zeldin transitioned from flailing and fitful
To being a genuine Donald Trump pit bull.
As pit bulls go, really, he hadn’t much bite
But his bark could at times drive the timid to flight.
It seemed he did little, but that’s only if
You don’t count the GOP trip to the SCIF,
Where Zeldin and all the Republican elfies
Made juvenile noises and took lots of selfies.
He would stand and look wide-eyed at Jim Jordan’s ear
Whenever a camera came anywhere near,
Or lurk scowling sternly behind Devin Nunes
Like one of Scorsese’s Mafia goon-es.
Thus Little Lee Zeldin escaped from his box
And actually started appearing on Fox.
In Trump World, there’s scarcely much higher to go
Than stirring the slime on Sean Hannity’s show.
But why would Lee Zeldin put all of his chips
On Big Donald’s number when all that man’s slips
Could lose him this district, which is not without
An abundance of voters who’d happily rout
A Trump guy from Congress with never a doubt?
And that’s what I asked — until came the flash
That Don Junior was giving a fundraising bash
For Little Lee Zeldin, and then I recalled,
Of course, it’s the money with which he’s enthralled.
No principled defense of Big Donald Trump,
Just Lee Zeldin priming the deep-pockets pump.
So that’s where it stands now, but can it be true
That we’re stuck with Lee Zeldin, whatever we do?
It’s only by lying that he’s a vote-getter,
There has to be someone who’ll do the job better.
Our friend Bridget Fleming has entered the race,
Providing us with a much-needed new face.
Unlike Little Lee, who’s just Big Donald’s shill,
She’s worked for us always, and she always will.
Mr. Lynch is treasurer of the Southampton Town Democratic Committee — Ed.
To see what’s new, click “Start the Tour” to take a tour.
We welcome your feedback. Please click the
“contact/advertise” link in the menu bar to email us.
One fine body…