Little Lee Zeldin - 27 East


Southampton Press / Opinion / Letters / 1661692

Little Lee Zeldin

Little Lee Zeldin went up to The Hill

Promising passage of bill after bill,

But actually not much has happened since then.

Lee vowed to deliver, but never said when.

Republican values he’s trumpeted endlessly,

But all it comes down to is governing spend-lessly.

It seems that he’s able to do little better than

Proclaiming to all he’s a proud Army veteran.

So Little Lee goes around beating that drum,

And for everything else, it’s really ho-hum.

(Just as an aside, I should probably say

That I too wore the uniform back in the day.

But if I were in Congress, I wouldn’t be touting it

As if I could win people over by shouting it.)

So Little Lee Zeldin was stuck in a slump

Until he was rescued by one Donald Trump.

Big Donald, in trouble, was actively raising

Defenders, and Zeldin signed on for the praising.

Now, Zeldin transitioned from flailing and fitful

To being a genuine Donald Trump pit bull.

As pit bulls go, really, he hadn’t much bite

But his bark could at times drive the timid to flight.

It seemed he did little, but that’s only if

You don’t count the GOP trip to the SCIF,

Where Zeldin and all the Republican elfies

Made juvenile noises and took lots of selfies.

He would stand and look wide-eyed at Jim Jordan’s ear

Whenever a camera came anywhere near,

Or lurk scowling sternly behind Devin Nunes

Like one of Scorsese’s Mafia goon-es.

Thus Little Lee Zeldin escaped from his box

And actually started appearing on Fox.

In Trump World, there’s scarcely much higher to go

Than stirring the slime on Sean Hannity’s show.

But why would Lee Zeldin put all of his chips

On Big Donald’s number when all that man’s slips

Could lose him this district, which is not without

An abundance of voters who’d happily rout

A Trump guy from Congress with never a doubt?

And that’s what I asked — until came the flash

That Don Junior was giving a fundraising bash

For Little Lee Zeldin, and then I recalled,

Of course, it’s the money with which he’s enthralled.

No principled defense of Big Donald Trump,

Just Lee Zeldin priming the deep-pockets pump.

So that’s where it stands now, but can it be true

That we’re stuck with Lee Zeldin, whatever we do?

It’s only by lying that he’s a vote-getter,

There has to be someone who’ll do the job better.

Our friend Bridget Fleming has entered the race,

Providing us with a much-needed new face.

Unlike Little Lee, who’s just Big Donald’s shill,

She’s worked for us always, and she always will.

George Lynch


Mr. Lynch is treasurer of the Southampton Town Democratic Committee — Ed.


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