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Mary D. Ficara died at home in Sag Harbor on December 26, 2016, of Parkinson’s disease. She was 90.
Born January 2, 1926, Ms. Ficara grew up in Brooklyn, the older sister of her siblings Alex and Nancy. As a young adult, she worked in the advertising department of the New York Post where she met her husband, Sal. They had four children; three of whom were rambunctious boys who could put patience to a test, but she proved herself to be a trooper, according to survivors. She smiled through pet turtles and dogs, attempts at piano, clarinet, ballet and drums. She winced through her daughter’s inappropriately short mini-skirts. She was a Brownie troop leader, a Cub Scout leader and the fulcrum of the family. She packed hundreds of lunches, wrapped even more presents until 3 a.m. each Christmas Eve and hosted family dinners for a large crowd on holidays.
Ms. Ficara was a master chef, easily whipping up a five-star dinner with ingredients from the fridge. She was creative and spontaneous, occasionally sending her daughter or sons to net crabs at the dock or dig mussels and clams from the beach for dinner. Hers was the home that welcomed all, especially the friends of her children who would hang around at dinnertime, hoping for an invitation. She planned activities for the kids, feasts for the adults and was adept at managing her roles as mother, grandmother, partner and friend.
She found joy in savoring and appreciating little things: boating, birdwatching, baking with her grandkids. She went the extra mile to be present, to listen, to counsel wisely and to make someone feel better for having talked with her. She was down to earth, quiet and unassuming; always gracious and occasionally impish. Mostly, she was kind and loving; you felt it and witnessed it in her eyes and smile, survivors said.
Ms. Ficara and her husband, Sal, shared 69 years together, living in Massapequa, East Quogue and, eventually, in Sag Harbor, close to their children.
She is survived by her children and their spouses, Annette and Will Chandler, John Ficara, Sal and Dana Ficara, and Richard Ficara; grandchildren, Leslie and Richard White, Christian, Francesca, Kelsey and Devin; and two great-grandchildren, Ellie and Nicholas.
A funeral service took place on December 30 at Brockett Funeral Home in Southampton, followed by interment at Oakland Cemetery in Sag Harbor.
on Jan 2, 2017