Paul Jones Remembered For Kind-Hearted Generosity

When Paul Jones proposed to his girlfriend, Alexandra Saland, declaring his love for her while down on one knee in front of family and friends, he had big plans for their wedding day.

They wanted an outdoor celebration, with an abundance of family, friends, music and good food, and chose the Sagaponack farm of a close friend as the perfect location.

Soon after their engagement, they were thrilled to learn that Ms. Saland was pregnant, and they decided to push the wedding back so they could welcome their newborn son without having to worry about wedding preparations.

When the coronavirus pandemic hit, they were forced to postpone the wedding again, but decided to incorporate their wedding location into their Christmas card, posing for a family photo at the farm. In the photo, Paul and Alexandra sit in the grass field with their three children — Jonesie, 13, Tatyana, 8, and Asher, nearly 2, straddling their golden retriever. The greeting on the card states, in bold letters below the photo, “It’s a Wonderful Life,” a design Ms. Saland chose in a nod to her favorite holiday movie.

And it was true. Paul and Alex had met through a dating website, both as single parents looking for love again. Before long, they moved in together, finding a home in Water Mill, and had happily created a blended family. Things were going well until Mr. Jones contracted COVID-19 in the fall and was hospitalized for a period of time. He was eventually discharged, but struggled to return to full health. On February 8, he was hospitalized again, in critical condition, requiring emergency heart surgery. He never woke up from the surgery, going on life support, and on February 26, he died, at the age of just 40 years old.

A GoFundMe page, which was set up by his cousin, Derek Smith, on February 20 to help support Ms. Saland and the children, raised more than $109,000 in less than a week, underscoring just how beloved Mr. Jones was in the East Hampton community, and on the East End at large. He worked as a successful real estate agent, but according to friends and family who knew him best, it was both his unfailing and consistent widespread generosity, and big-hearted, vibrant personality that endeared him to nearly everyone he met. He was a larger-than-life presence, physically speaking — tall, broad and athletic with a wide, ever-present smile and long black bushy beard (he played for the Montauk Sharks Rugby team for many years) — and he had the personality to match, making friends easily and going out of his way for seemingly everyone.

“Paulie was just that guy,” said his older sister, Kim Jones. “If you needed something and you didn’t know how to get it, he would make it happen.”

There was a time last summer, she said, when Mr. Jones heard that a friend of his mother, Connie Jones, was trying to buy some whiting (a type of fish). The next day, Mr. Jones, an avid boater and fisherman, was out on the water in Montauk with friends. They came home with several pounds of whiting, which they brought to her house, as well as shrimp and flounder, which they gave away to other people who wanted it.

Mr. Jones was the youngest of three children, and they were part of a close-knit group of cousins in a family that had been in East Hampton for generations. Like his older siblings, mother and several aunts and uncles, Mr. Jones graduated from East Hampton High School.

Mr. Jones’s aunt, Brenda Taylor, said she will remember her nephew’s lifelong love for the outdoors. He loved fishing and hunting, and she said he particularly enjoyed visiting her farm in Virginia. He showed his spirit of generosity through his love of those pursuits as well, cooking up fish or venison for family and friends.

“He was a country boy at heart,” Ms. Taylor said. “He loved the outdoors and he loved cooking out, and whenever he’d come down here, he’d always cook a special meal for me. He liked to help other people, but he didn’t necessarily want you to help him. He was so kind-hearted, always doing for others. And he loved his family.”

Ms. Taylor said she enjoyed watching him grow into a father, seeing him take his oldest child, Paul Jones IV — who everyone calls Jonesie — for visits to the farm in Virginia.

“He was so patient and kind with them,” Ms. Taylor said of Mr. Jones’s parenting style, which was in keeping with his personality overall. “Even though Paulie was a big guy, he was like a gentle giant. And what I loved most about him as his auntie was the big beautiful smile that he gave you. You would never know anything was wrong, with that big smile and soft touch of a hug he had.”

Ms. Taylor said Mr. Jones reminded her of his father, also named Paul Jones, who worked as a police officer in Bridgehampton and at Southampton College, and had the same kind of personality.

“He was a people person, and loved being around people, sharing whatever he had,” she said of her nephew. “If you knew him, you were his friend immediately.”

Both Ms. Taylor and Mr. Jones’s sister, Kim, spoke about his dedication as a father, particularly to his oldest child, Jonesie.

“Paulie, his biggest fear was that he wasn’t going to be a good father,” Kim said. “But as he grew into fatherhood, he really was the best father, not only to his son but to the baseball team he taught, and the football team. He would purchase equipment for them or cleats or whatever any child needed.”

His dedication as a father was part of his appeal, Ms. Saland said, when they were first getting to know each other.

“My first impression of him was just how easy he was to be around,” she said, adding that he made her laugh a lot, too. “We were both single parents; he had Jonesie, and I had Tatyana, so the fact that he cared so much about his son and that he always played a very active part in his life was very appealing to me.”

His joy at becoming a father again was evident in a video from the gender reveal party they held when Ms. Saland was pregnant with Asher. As friends and family looked on, Paul painstakingly cut the first slice into a cake that had blue frosting at its center, a big smile on his face as everyone begs him to dislodge the slice. He is smiling as he takes his time, clearly savoring the moment, and immediately envelopes Ms. Saland in a hug and kiss once the blue frosting is revealed.

Losing Mr. Jones just as they were still in the beginning stages of their life together as a family was painful, Ms. Saland said, but in a statement on the GoFundMe page, she expressed gratitude for the time she had with him: “The hole in my heart is unbearable, but memories of him will live forever. He was a man that brightened everyone’s day just by walking into the room with a huge smile on his face. He was so kind to so many, so compassionate to other people.”

Jonesie’s mother, Juliette Logie, said she and Jonesie are appreciative of the outpouring of support from the community in the wake of Mr. Jones’s death. “We miss him so much,” she said.

A memorial celebration is tentatively planned for this summer on June 30, Mr. Jones’s birthday.