Q&A: A Southampton Man's Long Journey Into The Deepest, Darkest Heart Of COVID-19

Gopal Char loves his home in Southampton.

The 61-year-old native of India has lived all over the globe, all over the United States, but fell in love with the East End while visiting friends. For five years, he’s been a full-time resident of Southampton Village, starting his own company, in which he works as a driver.

But for the last six months, he’s lived in a very different place: on the edge of death, battling COVID-19.

Mr. Char spoke via Zoom recently about his diagnosis in March, his up-and-down recovery, four separate hospitalizations totaling nearly 10 weeks, including a time when he was near death, and how it has affected his life now that he’s out of the hospital and finally feeling better.

Q: You’ve been in Southampton five years?

Yes, I was born in India, and my first part of my life, I lived in Europe, I lived in Norway, and then I went back to India. Then I happened to come here. I was in New York, then I moved from there to Virginia. We lived in Orlando, Palm Beach, and then back to New York.

Q: You came here to visit friends and fell in love with the place?

That’s correct. That’s correct. I was definitely … You know, I’m used to living in open spaces. Having lived in Norway, where the nature is so beautiful, when I got here, I fell in love with this place, because you’ve got everything here. You’ve got water, you’ve got the nice nature, and healthy climate. So it was … it put me right back there.

Q: You seem to be in really good health.

I was, yeah. For me, it was a shock, because, first of all, I don’t like to go to doctors. All my life in the United States, I always had health insurance. I never use it. Never. I didn’t have to. So when I got this, I was kind of, like, in 20 years I had never been to a doctor.

So it was kind of nerve-wracking, kind of. Especially at this time, when you hear about people dying. So I say, “Oh, my God, don’t tell me that my time has come now, no?” It was really scary. Really scary.

Q: But you didn’t stay away from doctors because you didn’t have insurance, you say, right?

No, I had insurance all along. All along I had insurance.

I never liked going to doctors. Never. I’m a workout guy, I eat healthy, because I was born in India and I was vegetarian. I mean, no meat, nothing, healthy, cardio.

… I left India when I was 19 years old, so I must have gone to the doctor only once. That was it. That was for a wound. I fell down, and that’s it.

Q: You did say you’re diabetic?

I am diabetic, that’s correct. Yes.

Q: That is a co-morbidity. Doctors worry about people with diabetes with COVID-19. That’s why I ask.

That’s what I heard. Yeah. That’s what I heard. Yes. Yes.

Q: So, then, this was the end of March, right? You were one of the early cases.

Yes. At the end of March, yes. That’s correct. I remember, I think it was the 29th. I think it was a weekend, that Saturday. It started, actually, on Monday, and I kept going down and down and down, until, Saturday, I couldn’t really wake up or get up out of bed.

Q: So it was about a week, you’re not feeling well?

Yes, a week not feeling well. Yes.

Q: What were the symptoms?

Well, it started with losing taste. I couldn’t eat anything. Everything tasted like you don’t want to eat it. So, taste, sense of smell, I lost. Then that’s when I started feeling fatigue. I mean, shortness of breath. Then I had fever and I felt nauseated, kind of like, so I didn’t really want to get up from my bed.

Q: Did you know at the time that those were sort of the symptoms [of COVID-19]?

No, no. … My friend was talking to me while on video, and I was not looking at her. … She didn’t even tell me that she was calling the ambulance. She hung up with me, and the next thing I know, the ambulance showed up in the house, so I knew that she had called.

Q: So let’s talk about your first time in the hospital. You were in there for these symptoms. Did they diagnose you right away?

They did a test. They did a swab test on me. The response was pretty slow. They didn’t even know until several days that I had COVID. But they assumed that I had COVID. They assumed, because of the symptoms, so they already quarantined me.

Q: They began treatment right away, I’m guessing?

Well, there was no treatment.

Q: Back then, in March, there wasn’t really a lot, right?

My whole experience was that it was a roller-coaster. Even the doctors didn’t know what they were doing. It was like modern flying without a GPS. … I mean, they did not know what was going on. If you asked the doctors, they would say, “We’ll see, just day to day.” That’s the answer you would get from them.

I was trying to stay very positive, and then, by the end of the evening, I was down. Because every day was scary. I mean, it was like going one step forward and three steps back.

Q: Did they give you antibiotics? What were the actual treatments?

Well, they give me hydroxychloroquine, which sucks. I mean, it was like I felt really nauseated and my heartbeat went up, so they stopped it.

… Eight or 10 medications, I would take every day. That was not good. Then they had steroids. They gave me steroids for pneumonia. So those are the medications I got from them.

Those four weeks were horrible. I mean, it was just scary.

Q: It was four weeks the first time, right?

Four weeks, yeah. It was hard because the doctors did not know where I was heading. … Because what happened was, two times a day, they’d check my oxygen level. I was scared, because anything less than 88, they would take me to ICU and put me on a ventilator. So I go to the doctors and I said, “I don’t want to go on the ventilator. If you are going to put me on the ventilator, I will sign my release papers that I want to die. I don’t want to be on a ventilator.”

Because earlier my friend had died, and this was at the earliest stage. Actually, he had previously had cancer. He recovered from cancer, and then I was the one who was driving him to hospital for a checkup — and he didn’t make it. Then I had to call ambulance for him, and then even the hospital did not know that he had a virus, coronavirus.

Q: So he did have coronavirus and he ended up on the ventilator, and he didn’t make it?

Yes, he was in the ICU at Stony Brook.

I used to go to see him at least twice a week, and he was out completely. The thing was, I knew that what happens to you is that you are brain dead. You are completely brain dead. I mean, the thing is, I saw him shaking his head, and then they took the ventilator out and put a trachea in, because his body wasn’t functioning, the machine was functioning for the body.

… And then he died. I mean, I knew that his day was coming. The lungs — because that’s what COVID is all about. It’s about your lungs. It affects your breathing. If your breathing is affected, it’s … game over.

Q: So he had to have been one of the first cases in the region? When did he pass away?

March 1. I remember, I visited him when he was in the hospital from the 23rd of December, and then I remember that he got better, and then they transported him to a nursing home, because they wanted to do physical therapy and all of that.

Q: Can I ask you a tough question?

Yes.

Q: Is it possible that you got the virus from him? From visiting him at the hospital?

I don’t think so. The thing is, see, March 1 to 29, that’s a long … and I didn’t feel anything in between. Because if I had gotten the virus, then the people I associated with during that time would have gotten the virus, too.

… So but it could not be him, but I remember I had gone to Stop & Shop in East Hampton, and it was mad crazy over there. The Stop & Shop over there really was filthy. Because they were not cleaning, wiping the carts, and people were not keeping a safe distance. It’s possible I would have gotten it from them.

Q: In March, we didn’t really know that much.

No, nobody knew much about it. No.

Q: Okay, so, that first time you were in the hospital was four weeks, right? Were you ever in the ICU?

What happened was … They took me to ICU and put me on a 70 percent high-flow oxygen that goes through your nose. It was a nightmare. I couldn’t sleep, and my nose started bleeding because of the pressure of the oxygen going through my nose.

They put me like that for five days. Can you imagine what I went through? I couldn’t sleep. I didn’t sleep at all. I couldn’t eat, and they put me on a liquid diet, complete. Complete liquid. No solid diet, at all.

Every time the doctor came, I asked him, I said, “When are you going to take me off?” Oh, no, the numbers had to go down. I mean, it was scary. … I mean, if you don’t follow their orders, it can be a lot worse. Because I used to read up on people who are on ventilators, and it’s scary.

Q: I wonder, too, about being in the hospital like that, undergoing uncomfortable treatments, being scared — and having nobody able to come visit you. What was that like?

I mean, the thing is, you pretty much leave it to God. … What was going through my mind was, “Lord, could have I done better in my life?” I started thinking about that. If I had to live this life again, how would I live? I mean, the mistakes I made.

… Death was right there. I could see it. I was at the jaws of death. I could see death knocking at my door. Any day, I would be gone. The doctors would tell me, “Gopal, you aren’t going to die.” But how could I believe them? I couldn’t believe them, because they don’t know.

… This was going through my mind in the night, and I was alone, I would cry sometimes. I used to scream. I mean, it was scary. Because the thing is, I’m looking at the wall, and that’s all I’m looking at. I couldn’t sleep. I started getting PTSD. I mean, it was horrible.

… I mean, the only people I saw were those nurses who came to my room, and they were very brave. I mean, I feel sorry for them.

… I would stay with the ladies who would come to clean my room. They used to talk to me, like, “How are you doing?” It felt so good.

The thing is, at that point, nothing matters. Money, anything, nothing. Nothing, nothing, nothing. I was, like, I said, “Whatever God brings, I am ready.” That was my attitude at that point, because the thing is, it was not in my hands at that time. Nothing I could have done — except to have a positive attitude. But I didn’t want to have a false sense of a positive attitude.

Q: So you were in for four weeks and you got better enough to go home?

Well, I was not 100 percent better. Let me put it this way: My breathing was not 100 percent, but the doctor said, “You have been here long enough.” They sent me home with oxygen. … But then what happened was, when I left the hospital, I was weak. I mean, when you’re in the hospital four weeks, I was already weak. Then when I got home, I had to use the oxygen.

… Then I remember, Memorial Day, I just called them and said I wanted to check my vitals. So they say, “Okay, come on in. We’ll check your vitals.” When I went in there, they said, “We’ve got to admit you — your oxygen is low.”

Q: So it was another two weeks at that point? So now you’re up to six weeks.

Yeah, two weeks. Yeah. So after two weeks, I left the hospital again, and nothing improved. Nothing improved.

… I couldn’t sleep. I couldn’t even eat much. I mean, I was getting fatigued. When you’re not breathing well, you’re feeling fatigued. I remember going to Costco and for the first time I had to use a trolley, a scooter.

I felt odd. People looking at me like …. Because I know a lot of people there, and they say, “Gopal, what happened to you?” You know, I said … I didn’t want to explain everything, because the thing is, this COVID also created a little bit of discrimination. Some people didn’t even want to deal with you. I experienced that.

That’s why I didn’t want to tell my story to anybody. I wanted to keep it to myself, because the thing is, my friend told me, “Gopal, don’t tell anybody that you have COVID.” … That was terrible. You know what I mean? … I didn’t tell it to anybody.

The thing is, I went home for two weeks, again, same problem. I was not well. I was not better. Then I had to go back. Then I said, “Let me try. Let me see what I can do.” I’m exhausted, and I’m driving. I went to Walmart and I had to pretend that I’m looking at something, and I stopped. When I had to go grocery shopping, I had to pretend that I’m looking at something, because my breathing was …

Q: Just to catch your breath.

Yeah. Catch my breath. I remember that night, I came back from work, and I couldn’t muster the energy to go up the stairs, because I live on the first floor. I sat in my car until 1 o’clock in the night. Then I said, “You know what? I think this is not valuable. I need to go to the doctor.”

So I went to the emergency [room]. They took me in.

Q: This was sometime in June?

Yeah. June, July, I think. I had my friend come and drop me at the hospital, and I told her, “I’ll see you tomorrow.” That’s what I told her.

… They admitted me. … So they tried to fit me in the hospital, and I think I was going to the bathroom or something, and I collapsed.

After that I did not know what was going on. So they were trying to contact my friend, and I have no family here, so it’s friends. So I collapsed. They had to give me sedation and then they put me on a ventilator.

Q: How many days were you on the ventilator?

Eight days.

… I remember that day. It was a Friday, I was in ICU. I woke up, and the doctor shows up. Not the main doctor, the assistant doctor. He says, “So how are you feeling?” I said, “I just woke up.”

… The first thing they did was they yanked the ventilator out of my mouth. [The doctor] asked me to write my thoughts. So I wrote my thoughts, whatever came to my mind.

Q: They were testing you, because being on a ventilator for that long can affect your cognitive skills, correct?

Yes, yes. Then he heard me talking. They were shocked. They could not believe that my cognitive functions were intact, okay?

Q: When you woke up, did you know you had been in bed unconscious for eight days?

No, I did not. I thought I went to the hospital yesterday. I did not know anything. I did not know the timelines. I was with my friend. I said, “Well, how did I end up here? What happened?” I get nothing. I didn’t even know what day of the week it was.

… So I came out and I started feeling the same again. My lungs were … starting actually feeling worse. Oh, my God, it was horrible. I called the doctor and he said, “Go to emergency right away.”

Q: Now, to be clear, at that point you don’t have COVID anymore, right?

No. … So then I went back to the hospital again and I was admitted.

Q: A fourth time.

Oh, yeah. For two weeks. They drained my fluid twice.

Q: Out of your lungs?

Out of the lungs, yes. This time, and then what happened, finally, they started giving me this drug called Remdesivir. … They started seeing that I was getting better and this time for real. … I had already spent two weeks in the hospital. So at that time I was so happy when they said you can go home. So when I went home, I didn’t even need oxygen anymore. The first thing I did was I went and bought this thing for my finger, this called oximeter, to check my oxygen. It got better and better and better.

… I’m still recovering, actually, because I’m not up to 100 percent yet. In the sense of my strength. My breathing, everything is fine. But the thing is, you get so much medication, so much medication, that it messes your digestive system completely up. I mean, I have to be very selective with what I eat. I cannot eat just anything. I’m from India, I love spicy food. I can’t even have spicy food. If I eat spicy food, I will have a big problem.

… But now, thank God, the doctor tells me, “Gopal, I apply my medical wisdom: You should not be here. You should be dead or in a nursing home.”

Q: How does that make you feel? Does it make you feel grateful? Does it scare you?

You know something? A lot of people prayed for me, my church. A lot of people prayed for me, and I’m so grateful that I have a life. I used to look at people and say, “Why can I not be normal like that?” when I was going through this. Finally, I feel normal. I’m able to go up the stairs, down the stairs. I don’t have to pretend that I’m looking at something. You know what I’m saying? I’m normal. I can walk. I don’t need a scooter or anything like that.

Q: Is there something that you want people to know about this virus?

I would just tell them take this very seriously. This is not a joke. Because it affects your breathing, and to be in the hospital with COVID … it’s like a blind alley. You don’t know where you’re going to go. It’s very uncertain.

… I was doing a testimony to the church, my church that I go to, and one of the things that I said was, “You know, this was a reset. The Lord asked me to push a reset button, when you purge all that which is meaningless.”

We spend half of our life, or maybe more, on meaningless things that don’t even matter, instead of focusing on good relationships, being good to each other, doing the most important stuff.

Believe your belief. It doesn’t matter who you pray to. Being a good person, that’s the most important part. You forget that. Being grateful that you are alive. Being grateful that you live in a nice country. … You have so many good people around you. Cherish that relationship. Nurture them. Those are important.

Money, property, all that, you can have today, it’s gone tomorrow.

… Believe me, I am telling you, I was praying to God every day, “God, please forgive me for my sins. Forgive. I have sinned. Forgive me for my sins. I promise you I’ll use this mercy you are giving me for the betterment of somebody else. I will donate my time and resources to see that somebody else is better.”

Those are the important lessons you learn.