Recognizing Violence

It’s a staggering number: According to the Love Is Respect Action Guide, published by the National Domestic Violence Hotline, one in 10 U.S. high school students experienced physical violence from a dating partner in the last year. That would mean more than 1.5 million victims.

Teen dating violence can include physical and sexual violence, psychological aggression, and stalking, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. One in three experienced emotional abuse.

Equally as troubling, East Hampton High School student Salome Galindo, a 16-year-old member of The Retreat’s Teen Leadership Council, said, anecdotally, that more than half of her girlfriends at the school have experienced an unhealthy relationship.

Salome and the other members of the teen council worked to shed light on the abuse suffered by members of their age group in February, which was Teen Dating Violence Awareness Month. It’s a time to not only raise awareness about teen violence but to educate kids on what constitutes a healthy or unhealthy relationship — and to support those who have, unfortunately, lived through the nightmare of an abusive relationship.

Those who have survived an abusive relationship can suffer from depression and anxiety, turn to drugs and alcohol, and exhibit antisocial behaviors, including lying, bullying and hitting. And without help they may find themselves repeating that cycle of abuse with future partners.

Which is why the work the leadership council and the professionals at The Retreat — which provides assistance and housing to adults in abusive relationships — is so important.

Teens caught up in an abusive relationship may not even realize that it isn’t healthy, or what a healthy relationship even is supposed to look like. Education is critical to prevent that cycle of abuse from repeating.

And education is also crucial to help others recognize the signs of abuse that may be demonstrated by friends and loved ones entering into early romantic relationships.

The good news is that abusive relationships have become easier to identify as groups like the leadership council have helped teens to come forward and seek support. In the past, it was kept quiet and covered up — which only perpetuated more abuse.

Teens need to be given the tools to recognize when they’re in an unhealthy relationship, and be able to get help to get out of it. Even better, with groups like the leadership council and the dedicated staff at The Retreat prompting a better understanding of what a healthy relationship looks like, and shining a light on teen dating, perhaps the alarming number of incidents of abuse and violence can be reduced. Knowledge is power, and it might help tip the scales when there is a relationship with an imbalance.