The Tashmans: Love That Blooms Through the Decades

Working in the garden one day and observing his clients together, a landscaper once asked Ethel and Shelly Tashman, “Are you two really married?”

He wasn’t used to seeing older couples so in love.

Asked to consider the key to their love’s longevity, 77-year-old Ethel quipped, “A great sex life,” and giggled. She and Shelly, who is 79, both giggle a lot — it’s the soundtrack of their marriage.

Like the garden Shelly tends with care and joy, their Springs home is a haven blooming with love. A favored framed photo shows “I Heart U” drawn into the sand, her peach sandals alongside his brown moccasins. Shelly recalled drawing the message during a Caribbean vacation, confessing, “I was looking forward to romancing her into bed.”

But their love is far from just physical.

“I re-fall in love with her every time something she does or says shows the incredible depth of her kindness,” Shelly said. “She can do 10 kindnesses a day without even thinking about it.”

“To have someone say, ‘I love you,’ every day, and to have him show it, that’s special,” his wife said.

Their endearing affection isn’t just focused on each other. It calls to mind Dolly Levi’s quote about money: “It’s not worth a thing unless it’s spread around, encouraging young things to grow.”

“Family is the most important thing,” Ethel explained. The pair delights in the achievements and antics of their three grandsons, constantly kvelling about them. They raised three sons together and, in 2020, were surprised by “a late life gift,” Shelly recalled.

During the pandemic pause, Shelly’s daughter, who was given up for adoption by her biological mother 56 years earlier, contacted him. “We got to know her during COVID,” he said, “Every Sunday, we’d FaceTime.”

“If it wasn’t COVID, we would have been on a plane,” Ethel enjoined. And once the travel restrictions were lifted, they met in person.

“She’s a terrific woman,” Shelly said. More family visits ensued and the Tashmans’ sons got to know their newly discovered sister.

The love abundance doesn’t stop with blood relations. Their “adopted family” is extensive. Retired for some 35 years from teaching, Ethel still has students she treats like her own children. While Shelly has a history of political activism — he marched and was teargassed while attending Tulane University in the 1960s — Ethel’s volunteer efforts are more one on one. She’s tutored and babysat the children of her seamstress and housecleaner, giving respite to working moms and providing myriad special memories to their kids. A section of her basement storage is loaded with toys and games for visiting children, and the care packages she sends out.

Speaking of her way with children, Shelly noted, “Ethel is a magnet. Kids know when she talks to them, she sees them.”

Ethel’s a magnet for men, too. “My mother taught me that,” she said with a laugh. “Always make extra sandwiches when you go to the beach for the boys.”

Beyond the laughter and the intimacy that bonds them, the Tashmans share an attribute that could be the secret to their success at aging without getting old: gratitude. They speak often of how blessed they are — with their health, with the beautiful home they’ve made, with their family and friends.

They watch what they eat, careful to stick to diets that support heart health.

“We’ve been so lucky,” Shelly said, listing his bounty of blessings. “We enjoy our life so much, our family. It’s worth it to do what we can to stick around a long time.”

Plus, Ethel added, “We do yoga!”

And they giggled again.